I'm Reno
by Gwaeren
Summary: After overhearing too many people gossiping about him, Reno just wants to clarify some things. Rating for use of vulgar language. Please Review! Set in game or movie - it doesn't matter.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea behind writing this and the computer used to type it up. Square-Enix owns everything else.

Summary: Reno just wants to clear up a few misconceptions he keeps running into when overhearing others talking about him.

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So. Tseng thought it would be a good idea for me to write down my grievances concerning the petty little rumors that are flying around about me. Now that Rufus has gotten ShinRa Electric running and is recruiting and hiring, I've noticed that there are a few new folk who want to whisper about me. Normally, I wouldn't give a flying fuck about it, but… well… it's distracting as all hell. So to clear the air, here goes.

To all the new people who have joined ShinRa, and to some of the old farts who haven't learned what's what by now:

I am Reno.

I know, I know. You probably already know that, if you're reading this, but there's more to 'being Reno' than you'd think. Or perhaps there's less? I dunno. It's just that there seems to be a whole slew of misconceptions about me, and most of them are bad. Some of them are accurate. Others are romanticizing me in some way that just isn't me.

I don't smoke. I don't care who told you I did, but they got their information from the wrong source. Oh, I've lit one of those things once or twice - the effect, I'll admit, is absolutely amazing. But I don't smoke. Do you think I'd be able to run like I do if I inhaled that shit on a daily basis? Hell no!

I don't drink on the job, but I do drink. I don't, however, drink till I'm staggering and stupid, thanks. What do you take me for, an idiot? I'm a TURK for crying out loud. If I drank like that, any old nitwit assassin could take me out! And no offense, but I'd rather not have "He got his drunk ass caught from behind by a five year old" written on my tombstone, thanks.

I curse. You probably figured that out by now, but yeah. I cuss like a sailor sometimes, and enough to make one blush at others. So far, though, no one that matters seems to mind my vulgarity. 'Course, I learned my limits when I was but a lil Turk-ling and stepped on Tseng's overly sensitive toes one too many times. He doesn't seem to mind my mouth so long as I don't use it when he's givin' orders, though, and once I learned about that and watched myself when it mattered, everything settled down rather nicely.

I'm not heartless, but my orders ARE followed through, regardless of the cost. My enemies will never know what I do or do not regret doing, either. Some kills I'm happy to carry out - in fact, with Rufus giving us orders, we've been removing more evil, nasty shits than ever before. There are very few orders that shake me to the core. Besides, what kind of Turk would I be if I blubbered over every order to kill? But giving a kid we've kidnapped (hey, orders are orders) a candy bar so they're not quite as scared doesn't tend to leak out. I'll do that much, at least. Lil kids are a weakness of mine. I absolutely suck at taking care of them, and I certainly can't understand 'em or their messy attempts at speech half the time. But they're the relatively innocent pawns in the games of madmen, and I try my best not to fuck 'em up more than they probably already are, growing up in the world as it is.

Dropping the Sector Seven plate nearly killed me. Physically and emotionally. I never admitted it to anyone, but my partner Rude guessed the truth - I was damned glad to be ordered to bedrest for a couple of weeks to heal. It took me even longer to come to terms with what I'd done.

I'm also very glad Rufus ShinRa is now the President. His father was a cold-hearted bastard. Don't get me wrong - Rufus can be cold as ice when he needs to be - but unlike his father, he learns his lessons well. Meteor shook him up something horrible, and Geostigma reminded him of just how mortal he was. He's smart, enigmatic, and he actually gives a flying fuck about his Turks. He gives us vacations when we need it - and he knows when we need them. He pays us well, but more importantly, he lends an ear when there's something we have to talk to him about. Told ya he's smart. Even if it means listening to us bitch for an hour, he listens - because he knows there might be something important to know mixed in with our ranting. It's worth it, to him.

And because of that, we've learned we can trust Rufus, too. Even more evidence to the fact that he's a brilliant leader.

Some people have gotten the impression that just because I dress casually, refuse to wear a tie, and have a very relaxed fighting style, it means that somehow I'm inept and disrespectful. Bullshit! I have a high respect for my superiors, and I'm fucking GOOD at fighting. How else would I have made it to second-in-command of the Turks? Yeah, I am, thanks so much. Why else would Rufus trust me to fly HIS chopper? Or send ME to deal with his worst problems. Yeah, of course there will be those out there who are better than I am. Cloud's one of 'em, though I like testing myself against him from time to time, just to see if I can catch him off guard. Those Remnants are three others who could probably kick my ass from Midgar to Wutai. Those Weapons, too. But none of 'em have killed me yet. I'm an assassin, dumbasses - I would have been fired if I fucked up every kill I went on. Or likely wouldn't even have been a Turk in the first place.

My weapon of choice is the Electro-Magnetic Rod. Not a gun. And fuck it all, I'm the best damned user of that lil weapon that ShinRa has EVER seen. That Pyramid attack? I fuckin' INVENTED it. Yeah.

Don't ask me about my tattoos. Ever. Tseng, Rufus and Rude know where and how I got them, and that's it. You really think I'd tell you, when I don't even know who the hell you are? Fat chance. They're personal. They're part of who I am, and they remind me of who I have to be. That's all you need to know about them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm just me. I'm Reno. I'm a Turk. And I'm damned proud of it.

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There you have it. Praise, criticize, heck - even flame me. I don't care so long as it's a review!


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